Top 10 Things Not To Wear While Cycling

Top 10 Things Not To Wear While Cycling


Ah, seems like it was yesterday. They were
good days, they were! Regardless of the season, or wherever you
may be riding, there are a few rules we feel you should follow to ensure you maintain sartorial
integrity whilst riding your bike. The list, although non-exhaustive, is simply what to
avoid at all costs. Top 10 things not to wear on a bike. No socks The correct sock height, length or colour
are subjects perpetually debated in the world of cycling. However, in order to even have
the debate, you have to have socks in the first place. Newbies might be tempted to go
sockless to save embarrassing tan lines, but you need to get over this. Tan lines are like
a tattoo to confirm your membership into the cycling world. Ride without socks, and you’ll
remain part of the amateur gang as well as risking some nasty ankle and toe chafing. I tell you what Matt, this is chafing a little
bit. You got any plasters? I think I might have some back in the car,
Si. Full face Helmet Riding with a helmet is compulsory in our
book, it goes without saying. But, riding out on the road with a full face helmet, unless
you’re planning an off road descent, or pumping round the local BMX track, just doesn’t
cut it. It looks distinctly dodgy for one, your head will cook for two and finally we
think periphery vision is an absolute must. It also inhibits the intake of fluids and
banter with your training partner too. [Muffled conversation] Compression socks Quite the opposite of no socks are compression
socks. On, or even off the bike, they will make you look so strange that the stress of
your self-consciousness will negate any performance benefit. Actually, we take that back – if
you’re wearing them, you probably don’t have any self consciousness anyway. Superheroes. Time out on the bike is precious, especially
if you’re training around a job or your studies. So the last thing you want to happen
whilst out on your favourite loop is to have to save the world from impending catastrophe
and doom at the clutches of an evil genius mastermind. A tip then, fly under the ‘superhero responsibilities
radar’ by not dressing as one. Simon my friend, I will fight crime until
the end of it’s days! National Championship Jersey Although fertile ground for debate, we feel
there is only one situation where you are allowed to wear a World or National champion’s
jersey. And that situation is if you are the current World or National champion. Yes! Oh what a day it was! Oh jesus, Matt. It was 16 years ago, take
it off! I have to get electrical tape. Absolutely
ridiculous. You can, if you’ve been a national champion,
continue to wear the stripes on your arms. Can someone give me a hand? Bib shorts only – no jersey. Since he started working out, our very own
Simon Richardson is probably the only person who could get away with what is normally considered
as a cycling fashion faux pas. Cyclist’s traditionally weedy, pasty-skinned
upper bodies are things best left under wraps and filed under ‘specialist websites only.’ I tell you what, you are looking quite buff. Thanks mate. Pretty ripped at the moment. How often do you work out, anyway? I reckon probably about once a decade. I did it once. Suits. Tally ho! Rather than look like an accountant with a
driving ban, keep it practical and avoid commuting in your suit. You’re looking well, anyway. Yes, I got the all clear last Friday and now
I’m enjoying life! Checking your portfolio on the move is also
a definite no-no. We’re unsure if brogues come with cleats too. This just isn’t working. Fancy a spurt instead? Rockstars Here at GCN we have actively encouraged you
to sing on a bike as a way of motivating yourself, which is fine. But, we implore you not to ‘method sing’
via total immersion into the persona of your favourite rock star whilst out riding. People try to put us down / talking ’bout
my generation / Just because we get around… The image of The Who’s Roger Daltrey on stage
rocking double denim is an iconic one that should not be tainted by trying to replicate
it on a bike. …my generation baby…my generation! My
generation baby… The Onesie Whilst reluctantly conceding they are indeed
*coughs* a global fashion phenomenon, these monstrosities should perhaps firmly remain
the preserve of teenagers, students and the sartorially misguided. Unless of course it’s
one that makes you look like your favourite wild animal out in it’s natural habitat, as
we’re rather fond of doing here at GCN. What have you come as Matt? I’ve come as a monkey. Always been fond of
monkeys since I was a child. Speedos Not only do Speedos offer very little protection
for your manly or womanly bits, but they also look…wrong. Yes, it’ll prevent you getting
farmer’s tan lines, but no, that’s not a valid excuse. If you want to do group rides
without everybody trying to drop you, steer well clear of Speedos – leave them for triathletes.
You are far less likely to end up being arrested for indecency or severely reducing
your ability to start a family. Plus no-one wants to ride behind someone with a severe
case of the munchies. I thought I was going to **** my lyrics up,
but I did it alright. National champion you know! What awful wind! We’ll be making bloody feature films soon! Got off on an appeal last night. That was a weird accent, wasn’t it?

100 thoughts on “Top 10 Things Not To Wear While Cycling

  1. You are thoroughly agreeable chaps. Nevertheless, I have to say that I don't share your low opinion of suits and jeans.

  2. What about keeping both hands on the handle bars? Imagine car drivers or other users of vehicles driving along with no hands on the steering wheel.

  3. In minut 3:00 he sits in midle of top tube of a carbon bike? omg… some brands even alert about lift up the bike with a hand from top tube.

  4. You guys sometimes remind me of Top Gear ( I mean that as a compliment) . articulate and funny. Must be a British thing.

  5. I prefer wearing a full faced motorcycle helmet

    It confers far better energy absorption in the event of a collision and it also confers total immunity to the dreaded faceplant when the visor is down

    You can also get short range helmet radios for communication up to 1km away

  6. Matt should be back!! I really miss him in the videos, he added a nice touch with his personality and humour

  7. Having kissed the road with my chin flying over the the handle bars,I bought a full face helmet, the doctors thought I might broke my jaw, looking silly is better than an admission to intensive care

  8. This is interesting and all, but can we finally settle once and for all whether Shimano's or Campagnolo's brake/shifter design is better? I feel like Campy is better, except for the one pesky thing about not being able to upshift with your hands in the drops. Surely they could add a second lower shift lever instead of putting it on the side of the hood.

  9. I wear a full face helmet on my aggressive commute through NYC to be safer as I’ve seen someone bounce off the hood of a car when they were hit and it saved my face from road rash when I was doored about 8 years ago. Better to be safe than sorry. I also wear compression socks when training endurance on my road bike as there’s proven science that it improves blood flow. I don’t understand why they think it’s a faux pas.

  10. These "what not to do and wear", respectively, videos seem to want to make those of us who just like riding our bikes into conformists societies of cyclists, which discourage me from wanting to ride with groups. I enjoy riding alone and not subscribing to group think.

  11. You will smell up And wet your suit if you ride any distance with it on at all. So, yeah! No suits. Carry them in a backpack and take a towel to dry off.

  12. I use the bike for transport, so I do cycle in jeans, heels, in a skirt sometimes. Skirts are not very easy though.

  13. Now your comments about compression socks could be a justification for them for safety reasons (especially while cycling alone) ,. You stick out especially if the socks are neon. Riding in small town America where u might not see cyclist can be risky and a recent study in the states said that socks that stand out are much more apt to grap a driver's attention than even a torso covered in neon. I'm about to get a bike and I don't want to get run over so ….

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